Okay guys so on Friday night I went over to my cousins house and had a late night dinner with the family and stayed up talking til just past 1 am. It was so nice to be with all of my family here and just talk about everything and anything. One of the reasons we got together was that it had been a year to the date that my nephew had gone home from the hospital. My little nephew is an Angel and such a fighter. Just before he was 3 months old he had already endured 6 surgeries, including some on his spine and brain! He has not been diagnosed with an illness per say but he is a very sick little boy. He has a valve in his head to his stomach to drain out some of the excess fluid his body makes, too much makes his head swell up and could even kill him. He can't move his legs and his eyes kind of go all over the place, the list could go on for days. On top of all of his problems he was also 3 months premature. Some doctors told my cousin and his wife to have an abortion when she was still pregnant,, some doctors told them that he didn't have a brain!
When he was released from the hospital they told him that he would live maybe 1 or 2 days and would surely die. And there we were Friday night celebrating 1 year!! He is the sweetest little boy with an amazing smile and so much will to live and that's when it hit me, how dare I complain about anything? My daughter and husband are both very happy and healthy and we are fighting to try to have a better life, we are not actually fighting to try and stay alive. There are so many people praying that they had what I have, health and love. I am so blessed to be able to see my daughter grow up and play and reach all her milestones. After dinner I came home and cried and prayed for just over an hour. I asked God for forgiveness that I complained about my situation. I still have the chance to make my life better if I choose. There are over 100 other countries I could try to move to and I'm crushed because I can't go to 1. I am grateful I even have the opportunity to try to go back in a few years, some people can never return! I am grateful that I have the love and support of all of my family. I have a husband who adores me and always makes me feel beautiful and loved. I have a daughter who is healthy and happy and is the sunshine in my life. I have so much to be thankful for that there is absolutely no reason I stay mopping around about what happened.
In just 2 1/2 weeks I will be reunited with my family and our new life will begin. God has an amazing way of teaching us life lessons and maybe I needed to go through this to appreciate everything. I am 22 years young and I have my entire life ahead of me. Thank you God for letting me see life the way I do now and I am so happy because of it. I was even able to look at my old pictures from when I was in Utah and I still cried but these were happy tears! I am so blessed to have lived that and enjoyed my daughter when she was young and saw her take her first steps and say her first words. I feel like I have been born again. That anger and hurt that I felt is gone!! Life is amazing and I intend to enjoy every second I have instead of being upset about something that was out of my control. I choose faith over worry, because I know that no matter what happens God always has the solution to all of my problems, I just need to be patient sometimes and it all falls into place! <3
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